Bill Van Loan ~ Memorist & Strategist

SETTING LIMITS

SETTING LIMITS. Make sure your limits and boundaries are set to protect you. This article is a reminder for all off us to look out for number one.

Valuable Relationships - Here, There and Everywhere

If you can benefit from every relationship you enter, leave, or grow, then you certainly have the upper hand and congratulations.

Nothing is forever and crying over a heartbreaker in excess may get you more of the same and blow new opportunities. I'm referring to what I choose to do with my life and how I process my actions and feelings. If I love my life then I better mean it or I won't stay in love. Part of the healing process that involves a relationship is loving yourself and a big part of that love is forgiving yourself so you can feel what you don't have right now.

Smart choices usually mean smart outcomes. That's a good thing to remember when your upset and wondering why your reading this....

Tough relationships - An opportunity to learn a lot and increase your resilience. Next turn, you find yourself producing your new love story and thanking yourself for the rest of your life.

Rough cut - part 2 coming shortly

Sad Songs That Make Me Cry - The Pain In The Voice Calls Out To Me

Dusty Springfield, Mike Kennedy y Los Bravos and The Walker Brothers Featuring Scott Walker have one big thing in common. They share the same producer who likes lots of drama.

The words may not stick to me but Scott's voice does. The Sun Ain't Gonna' Shine Anymore captures a feeling that no words can describe and Scott envelopes melancholy like my greatest nightmare could never reveal.

Heavy hit on a beautiful day. This song is about pain and loss.

Pain I could do without and must accept as I re-invent my life and love for life. Life is not fair. Life is what you make it. Reflections with the Walker Brothers and a Deep Shade of Blue share a haunting lingering memory that burns bright in my mind. The Sun Ain't... is penetrating and unforgettable.

How can I cry on my Blog and other social applications? Is this all there is to the process of self expression and deep loss? It's so important to process grief and all the other hardships of life. Crying is cathartic and healthy.

My loss won't destroy me. I'm discovering a brand new me. There is a silver lining. I am more resilient. My love will not die and my sunflowers are shining under the sun. Some things you will never forget and for the better. The sun shines on us and hard times tend to be temporary. No one can deny what your feeling. Is this true happiness or just a different form of freedom?

To be continued....

Relationships of a lifetime and without regret

I hear people say to me "I remember this love story and how good it was" or a variation on that theme daily.

Nothing's forever and there will be an end to your relationship. Make sure your producing that red hot love story now so when an end comes, it will include the memories (and all that follows) that you made as opposed to  the couples who simply did not work hard enough to keep their love alive and know it.

Your future is now. With or without regret. Time passes with or without love - that means your love and your time is up. Next move is yours....

How do you want to feel at the end? Now is the time to produce that feeling and you'll never forget it.

Relationships of a lifetime: Love, Death and Healing

Gemini Adams writes about loss like your favorite artist writes music. She has such a gift. The hyperlink is to a post I wrote after meeting her. I will add some new material to that post shortly. Gemini has a way with words and I can't stress that enough. I wanted to share this with others who have emailed me asking for help. Gemini's an expert.

I have experienced things most people will never see in their life. I'm lucky. The tapestry of passion that runs through my life is stronger now.

How resilient am I? Perhaps I have a better idea now and maybe I can unwrap the gifts that have been waiting to be opened for so long..... 

I'm stronger than I thought I was!

Relationships of a lifetime that end - when death separates you from love

I'll write more about my loss. I wrote 19 pages about my love story in between posts and that helped me. It was cathartic. Crying is not enough. I feel the pain, the sadness, etc and accept it. Time will help and I'll post some helpful notes that may save someone a little heartache (and may not). No one knows until it happens.

I may post a love letter as well.

Nothings forever so get ready to learn your coping skills when you least expect it and need them the most.

Relationships of a lifetime

Some relationships are just so strong that only death can separate you from your lover. Only the lucky will experience something so powerful, so deep and so real.

Others wil spend their time looking for what they always wanted and never had. It's always better to know your alone, then you'll never be lonely.

It's your job to save your life, no matter what....

Thanksgiving Countdown Starts With The People In My Life and Never Ends

My relationships have brought me the greatest joy in the world. I believe in thanking my friends and loved ones all the time. I believe in sharing appreciation with others I don't even know.

I'm thankful to be alive and even more thankful to appreciate the people in my life in creative ways. When night falls, I sleep like a baby and when I wake, I'm happier than the morning sun.

Healthy relationships have contributed greatly to my overall health.

I surround myself with people. People are everything.

I'm grateful to have the relationships down. The love in my life is the sweetest song I'll ever know.

To be continued:

The Greatest Joy Lives In My Relationships

My relationships have provided the greatest joy I could ever imagine and I mean with people, not money etc.

Relationships That Never Expire Until You Do

Some relationships are so deep and so loving that you end up wishing you had them from the beginning. Are short term relationships or a mix better for you?

You have the rest of your life to find out but don't wait till the end.

The end of your life - when is that you ask? You can't so you'd better start now before you regret what you were just thinking...